BANARAS, Kiran Babu's House. Morning.
Disciple: All the pilgrims touch the image of Visvanatha (Siva). Therefore it is bathed in the evening. Afterwards the priests worship the Deity and give the food-offering.
Mother: The priests allow people to touch the image out of greed for money. Why should they do so? It is enough to see the image from a distance. Otherwise people of immoral character would touch the image.
There are some people whose very touch creates a burning sensation in the body. It is so painful. Therefore I wash my hands and feet after they touch me. Fortunately the rush of people here is less than in Calcutta.
Disciple: One can see you here only after obtaining the permission of the senior Swamis. This arrangement has been made in order to lessen the rush.
Mother: Who cares to hold court, as it were, at different places?
Her lunatic sister-in-law tormented her even in Banaras. Referring to this she said: "Perhaps I worshipped Siva with Bilva leaves having thorns. Therefore I have this thorn in my life in the shape of this sister-in-law."
Disciple: How is that? What's the harm in offering thorny Bilva leaves to Siva unknowingly?
Mother: No, no. It is extremely difficult to worship Siva. It harms a person even if he makes a mistake unconsciously. But the fact is that those who are having their last birth suffer from the effects of past Karma in this one.
1 I do not remember having committed any sin since my very birth. I touched the Master at the age of five. I might not have understood him at that time, but he undoubtedly touched me. Why should I suffer so much? By touching him others are being freed from Maya; why should I alone have so much entanglement? Day and night, my mind wants to soar high. I force it down out of compassion for people. And yet I am so tormented!
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1 A Sannyasin disciple had once asked her, "Mother, why do we suffer so much due to various ailments?" The Mother had replied, "This is your last birth. So you are exhausting the fruits of all your Karmas of previous lives."