manner is not really meant for me. I do not worry about myself, I have a different feeling about it. What I want to know is this: I address you as my mother. Are you really my mother?
Mother: Who else am I? Yes, I am your own mother.
Disciple: You may say so. But I do not clearly see this. Naturally and spontaneously I know the mother who gave birth to my body as my own mother. But can I think of you likewise?
Mother: Alas, it is true indeed!
A few moments later, she added, "My child, He alone is our father and mother. He alone has become our father and mother."
16th December, 1912
I raised the topic of' 'visions", and asked the Mother, "People have various "visions". Are they subjective or can they be actually seen by one's physical eyes?"
Mother: They are all subjective. But I had seen one actually with these physical eyes. It was at Kamarpukur'. A girl like Radhu (about 11 or 12 years old), wearing ochre clothes, with a string of Rudraksha beads around her neck, her hair all rough and dry, would accompany me wherever I went.
Then I performed the
Pancatapa 1 at Nilambar Babu's rented house at Belur. Yogin (Yogin-Ma) too did it. After this the girl disappeared, and I saw her no more.
Disciple: What is the need of Tapasya (austerity)?
Mother: It is very necessary. Look at Yogin. How much does she fast even now? She practises intense austerities. Golap is an adept in Japa. One day Naren's mother came to visit me. Naren said to her, "Perhaps you had practised austerities. Therefore you got Vivekananda as your son. Repeat them and then you may get another."
The Master practised all kinds of disciplines. He used to say, "I have made the mould; now you may cast the image."
Disciple: What is the meaning of casting the image?
Bhudev: It means to meditate on the Master and mould yourself after him.
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1 Pancatapa means 'austerity of the five fires'. The aspirant lights four fires, each seven feet apart in a square formation. Sitting in their midst, with the burning sun above as the 'fifth fire', the aspirant practises prayer and meditation