come away from that place, saying, "I shall not stay there any longer. I shall live in the Nahabat, and pass my days looking at the Ganga. I do not need the bungalow any more."
The Master performed the Shodasi Puja about a month and a half after my arrival at Dakshineswar (probably on the night of the Phalaharini Kali Puja, June, 1872). I had then commenced my sixteenth
1 year. At about nine at night, he sent for me. Hriday had made all the necessary arrangements for the worship. The Master asked me to be seated. I sat on the stool facing the jar of Ganga water which used to be kept at the north-western corner of the room. The Master sat near the western door and was facing eastward. All the doors were closed. The articles for worship were on my right.
Disciple: How did he worship?
Mother: I soon became semi-conscious due to spiritual fervour. Hence I do not know how exactly the worship proceeded.
2 Disciple: What did you do when you became conscious?
Mother: I saluted the Master mentally and came away.
Disciple: It was the night of the (Phalaharini) Kali Puja. There must have been many people present. Did none come to know about the worship?
Mother: Did I not say that the doors were all closed? The Kali Temple was full of festivities that night. All were busy with that. And besides, what business had they with the Master? Nothing beyond seeing him and saluting him!
Disciple: Was anyone else present at the time of worship?
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1 Actually nineteenth.
2 I heard later from Lakshmi-didi that the Mother had told her: "First he painted my feet with alta(liquid lac-dye), and put vermilion on my forehead. Then he clad me in a new cloth. He also fed me with sweets and betel-roll." Lakshmi-didi asked her smilingly, "You are so shy, dear. How did he put the cloth on you?" The Mother replied, "I was in an altogther different state of semi absorption then."
The Mother had related this incident to Jnanananda also. He too had asked her, "Mother, did you not feel any hesitation or shyness when the Master offered flowers at your feet and. fed you with sweets with his own hands?" The Mother had told him, "No, I saw him, no doubt, doing all this, but I had no inclination to utter a word even."